1.)Whats the difference between a oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
....The taste.....
2.)A little girl get in a terrible accident and loses her eyesight. Shes asks her mother "mommy do you think I will ever be able to see again?"
"Yes honey" replies the mother "The doctor said its temporary. In the morning we'll go to the drugstore for some special cream for your eyes that will let you see again."
The little girl is so excited she can barely sleep. The next morning they go to the store and her mother buys her the cream. That evening the mother rubs on the cream and wraps a bandage around her daughters eyes and puts her to bed. The following morning the little girl waks up and runs into her mother bedroom all excited to get the bandage off so she can see. The mother unwinds the bandages and pulls them off. "Oh no I still cant see mommy" cries the girl.
"I know dear" says her mother, "April fools!"
I cant believe I took the time to write all that lol I must be bored.