1) A cross-over cable will work fine.
If its a switch and not a hub it can take a minute or so
to auto-configure
Wait a while before connecting.
2) EvoX ftp server is very unreliable and slow
3) Software> flashfxp seems to be best, ive tried other programs ie DOS, IE6, ws_ftp
4) IP> do you have static IP's or DHCP