OK did some more testing...
first thing I did was pop in my DVE DVD and re-tuned my screen.
as for having trouble on bright images I tried booting the 360 in every mode (480p, 720p, 1080i) it didn't pose any sync problems on any of them. I also tired running my Clerks DVD as on of my old TVs had lots of trouble with bright white images and always wigged out on the menu of that DVD, I experienced no problems with that either.
Interesting though... my PS2 though component in 480i showed NO SHADOWING at all. The 360 regardless of what mode it was in had it, no better no worse even running the 360 through the same input used by the PS2 it was there.
There are 2 cables between the switch and my projector, plugging the 360 directly into the 1st cable connected to the projector. the image was PERFECT. So whatever is causing the shadow is either the switch or the short cable coming out of the switch that I skipped.
...and when I say the image was perfect I mean it looked better then I ever remember it being...
I should also note that my receiver has a built in power conditioner as well as fused outlets for other devices, moving the selector from my normal power conditioner to he receiver made no difference. I went and plugged it into a raw outlet too and it made no difference in the shadowing (slight bit of interference there though)
I'll be running the new cables through the ceiling tomorrow morning, so we'll see what happens. If it still doesn't look right after I run the new cables I'll probably be returning it and looking for a new one, I really want this thing to work though, it's really perfect in terms of looks and features... why can't it just work right