Post by: Exobex on June 20, 2003, 07:29:00 AM
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, or FHM, or Loaded girl of the Month.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Post by: leisenstein on June 21, 2003, 07:39:00 PM
Post by: Morglum on June 21, 2003, 07:46:00 PM
| QUOTE (BrainSour @ Jun 20 2003, 04:31 PM) |
 |
I always wondered what you looked like. Well actually i never because i couldnt give a shit about you
Brave woman holding you though. 
Oh and BTW, nice post
Post by: TheGreatVirus on June 21, 2003, 10:36:00 PM
| QUOTE (leisenstein @ Jun 21 2003, 10:39 PM) |
| you forgot the most important rule: Nothing says I LOVE YOU, like waking up to a bl0wj0b in the morning. |
That is a hell of a way to wake up
Post by: Morglum on June 22, 2003, 11:17:00 AM
Post by: GREGWILLRULEYOU on June 22, 2003, 11:35:00 AM
| QUOTE (Morglum @ Jun 22 2003, 08:17 PM) |
| LOL, ive not said anything to the mods about you, YET! You're a wanker, you really think im the only person here who thinks that? Theres plenty of people here who would like to see the back of you, or just have you shut your mouth unless you have something worth saying, which you never do. I just havent been bothered to complain about you to the mods, whereas im sure plenty of others have, though i might say something soon. But then i really cant be arsed. |
Im another
Post by: phantazma1 on June 22, 2003, 03:10:00 PM
| QUOTE |
| Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. |
yes, i agree. my gf is always trying to make me stop the car and ask someone for help.
like i need it!! i ususally find the destination perfectly fine..... after a few hours.
Post by: bong888 on June 24, 2003, 09:32:00 AM
| QUOTE (leisenstein @ Jun 22 2003, 04:39 AM) |
| you forgot the most important rule: Nothing says I LOVE YOU, like waking up to a bl0wj0b in the morning. |
im gonna demand: thats how i wake up from now on
Post by: survivorejam on June 25, 2003, 09:46:00 AM
Post by: lordvader129 on June 25, 2003, 02:12:00 PM
Post by: bong888 on June 26, 2003, 03:17:00 AM
| QUOTE (survivorejam @ Jun 25 2003, 06:46 PM) |
| how about some instructions for women ! |
im giving those to my chick right away