Post by: Lizard_King on February 08, 2003, 12:09:00 AM
Ok, so perhaps too much French-bashing at once...naaah
France surrenders during military training exercise
from Bob from accounting
PARIS - France held secret military exercises in order to better prepare for an eventual surrender should they ever be attacked, say officials in the government.
The training exercises, which began within days after the September 11 terrorist attacks in America, focused on a coordinated effort between the French government and the military in case they are confronted by the slightest act of aggression by a foreign country.
"The policy of of an immediate and unconditional surrender is not left up to chance as many would believe," says Jean-Pierre Le Carche, deputy assistant to the French U.N Envoy. "Every aspect is methodically planned so as not to disrupt the wonderful French way of life."
The first step, according to Le Carche, is "to apologize profusely to the angry country and then act like we didn't know anyone was mad at us. We say things like 'who us? What? We didn't do anything wrong. We're on your side.'"
If the aggression continues, the government is instructed to immediately blame another country or a minority for the hatred they have brought upon the true French people.
"Most likely we would blame everything on either the United States, the Jews or both. Preferably both. Then we begin deporting people. Of course, who will be deported depends on the country asking. If it's the Jews, that's easy. We just hand them a list of addresses."
The third measure is invoked only if previous efforts have failed to produced results.
"Our troops are told to immediately lay on the ground like sheep. This momentarily confuses the enemy while our leaders quickly flee to Switzerland."
According to former French General Luc-Paul Didier, France has learned from its mistakes of the past, particularly during the German invasion of World War II.
"We got it all screwed up in those other wars by laying down like sheep first and then deporting people second," Didier said. "If we would have just planned a little better, we might have actually shared a beer with the German troops instead of prostituting our wives for a warm baguette.
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Just thought I would note that yes, I am aware the French helped us during the American War for Independence, and am eternally grateful. Thank you, drive through.
Post by: KazuyaWaruasobi on February 08, 2003, 12:12:00 AM
Post by: Wong Hung Lo on February 08, 2003, 06:36:00 AM
Post by: vincent_y79 on February 08, 2003, 06:37:00 AM
Post by: Lizard_King on February 16, 2003, 09:55:00 PM
Post by: Mshake on February 17, 2003, 08:44:00 AM
| QUOTE (Wong Hung Lo @ Feb 8 2003, 02:36 PM) |
| |
LOL i just HAD TO DO THIS...... funniest thing i have read today !
and shit, when i played counter-strike, if i still remember, i used to always choose the french team or whatever the counter-terrorist name it had......
lol
Post by: Lizard_King on February 17, 2003, 08:24:00 PM
A: You can make a man out of snow.
Post by: Combo on February 17, 2003, 09:39:00 PM
it's not funny
Post by: HSDEMONZ on February 17, 2003, 10:36:00 PM
Vous badinant? La baise. faisant l'amusement hors du FRANÇAIS est baiser hilare! Je ME RENDS!
Post by: Teralus on February 18, 2003, 02:40:00 AM
Post by: Lizard_King on February 18, 2003, 04:54:00 AM
| QUOTE (Teralus @ Feb 18 2003, 11:40 AM) |
| Ah...your comments in the other posts make a lot more sense now Lizard...you are actually just a racist bastard. |
And you are just a self-righteous twit. Even al Ghazi knows a Comedy Thread when he sees one.
Post by: Combo on February 18, 2003, 07:35:00 AM
it can be funny if it doesn't turn into some kind of racism... but from my point of view, it has.
Post by: Combo on February 18, 2003, 07:41:00 AM
france has suffered a lot because of useless wars, maybe it's the reason we don't want another...
Post by: Hodr on February 18, 2003, 12:59:00 PM
Or, did you perhaps mean to use the term prejudiced?
I took this to be a joke thread, as I am sure most people did.
And I don't take offense at all the jokes focused on the US / George Bush that are in all the french magazines I read. (Yes, I do read french magazines when I am bored at school, mostly looking for nudie pics, and yes they CONSTANTLY make fun of the US).
Also, (and I am not denying its existance) what propoganda are you referring to? All I remember of US history in gradeschool is that we slaughtered a bunch of indians and alot of people died in wagon trains.)
Post by: Raised on February 18, 2003, 03:53:00 PM
| QUOTE (Hodr @ Feb 18 2003, 04:59 PM) |
| Also, (and I am not denying its existance) what propoganda are you referring to? All I remember of US history in gradeschool is that we slaughtered a bunch of indians and alot of people died in wagon trains.) |
Just a quickie: What was the outcome of the missile crisis?
Post by: Teralus on February 18, 2003, 04:44:00 PM
| QUOTE (Lizard_King @ Feb 18 2003, 01:54 PM) | ||
And you are just a self-righteous twit. Even al Ghazi knows a Comedy Thread when he sees one. |
My Bad I forgot this was in the comedy section.....We are aloud to be racist wankers in the comedy section!!
Post by: Lizard_King on February 18, 2003, 06:22:00 PM
| QUOTE (Raised @ Feb 19 2003, 12:53 AM) |
| Just a quickie: What was the outcome of the missile crisis? |
US: 0, Soviet Union 0: The status quo was effectively returned to, which was all the Americans wanted in the first place. The covert attempt to place missiles in Cuba was no longer a possibility.
As opposed to the Korean War:
Soviet Union 2, China 1, US 1, Korea 0
or the Vietnam War
China 1, US 0, Vietnam 0
But I am interested to see what your view of the Cuban missile crisis is. I've studied it extensively in the context of Soviet history classes, American politics classes, and foreign policy classes.
I have a feeling you're going to bring up the removal of Turkish missiles as a reason for Russian success, and I would disagree, seeing as how the plans for such a move were actually in place before the crisis even began. The fact is that nukes in Turkey was diplomatically and economically wasteful, not to mention obsolete at the moment of installation (as both sides were shifting to multiple warhead nukes) and as we shifted our nuclear strategic paradigm to mobile missile bases on nuclear subs, no longer necessary. In fact, it was a waste of the missile "quota" we'd established with the Soviets. That's why the cretin Bobby Kennedy was able to make that offer to the Russians with a clear conscience.
The other reason often cited for the Cuban Missile Crisis being a Russian success was the removal of the future possibility of an anti-Cuba strike. While certainly true, I would say the Bay of Pigs and Vietnam had a whole lot more to do with that.
At any rate, it is plain that the Soviet higher echelons did not consider it a victory, as it was instrumental in the later removal of Nikita Krushchev as premier.
Anyhow, on the topic, The Washington Post has an interesting discussion on the topic, along with some links.
Post by: Raised on February 18, 2003, 06:30:00 PM
So on the topic of propaganda in american schools I just wanted to do a little "test".
Post by: Raised on February 18, 2003, 08:41:00 PM
| QUOTE (Lizard_King @ Feb 19 2003, 12:12 AM) |
| That said, I often think that the European (but also just as often Australian, NZ, etc) conception that this is only an American problem is seriously messed up. Their educational systems are at least as skewed as ours, and from all accounts it seems they are wholly unaware of this or (even worse) convinced that what they were taught constitutes the absolute truth. Americans at least have a healthy skepticism of our educational system (as you can see by the booming trend in home schooling and vouchers and all that). |
True, but you also have to understand the capital importance of developing a good judgement and the critical sens of american students, since they are to become citizens of the most powerful and influent nation in the world. This planet cannot afford to have it's dominant nation populated by people with no self-awareness and a warrior temperament.
Jesus, I hate myself for what I'm about to do, but i'll quote Spiderman:
"With great powers come great responsabilities."
Post by: phantazma1 on February 19, 2003, 05:22:00 PM
Post by: Lizard_King on February 19, 2003, 07:16:00 PM
Post by: Lizard_King on February 19, 2003, 08:58:00 PM
Post by: Raised on February 20, 2003, 02:11:00 PM
Post by: Hodr on February 20, 2003, 05:13:00 PM
(Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.)
Post by: Lizard_King on February 20, 2003, 08:51:00 PM
"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
"Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed, but I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops, uh, depending on the breaks."
"Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?"
"I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. And I think General Ripper found out about your preversion and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts....All I was told to do was get General Ripper on the phone with the President of the United States."
Mein Fuhrer, I CAN WALK!
Post by: phantazma1 on February 23, 2003, 12:30:00 PM
| QUOTE (Lizard_King @ Feb 19 2003, 07:58 PM) |
| sounds like a hell of a story. sorry to hear that. |
no big deal. i'm not as bitter as my parents are though.....
btw, anyone see the Simpson's episode about Lisa being Joan of Arc?
well, they were maing fun of french military too. Homer was like, "Hey,
we're French... we have no word for 'victory' " or something like that...
i thought i was hilarious because of reading this thread
Post by: Wong Hung Lo on March 18, 2003, 01:02:00 PM
