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Off Topic Forums => General Chat => Comedy Forum => Topic started by: JFSX on September 30, 2003, 01:45:00 PM

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on September 30, 2003, 01:45:00 PM

Did you know that cat urine will glow from a blacklight. And that if hooked up to a e.k.g jello will tell the signs of a healthy adult human. And bill gates has a lot of money,but its not in his billfold.  


if sombody gets hit enough they start turning funny colors.

the end.


p.s aint this one hell of a joke ha ha funny funny.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: lookformeb on September 30, 2003, 02:24:00 PM

prove it...

Title: Did You Know
Post by: DermicSavage on September 30, 2003, 04:29:00 PM

QUOTE (JFSX @ Sep 30 2003, 02:45 PM)

if sombody gets hit enough they start turning funny colors.

black n' blue anyone?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on September 30, 2003, 06:22:00 PM

well i cant really prove the cat thing cause i dont have a cat nore a blacklight and i read it from a book. But yes black and blue were not the colors I was looking for, They are actually black,blue,purple and red. Congrats you win nothing! nexzt question. How many flys does it take to get to the moon?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: chief on September 30, 2003, 05:30:00 PM

(IMG:http://members.lycos.co.uk/drewt/images/2633.jpg)

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on September 30, 2003, 05:30:00 PM

by flys i mean flies as in how long does it take a fly to explode in a 1300 watt microwave?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on September 30, 2003, 05:31:00 PM

sorry no

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on September 30, 2003, 05:54:00 PM

Yes but a orange has no stripes.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: gcskate27 on September 30, 2003, 08:28:00 PM

your oranges have NO stripes!?!?!??!?!!

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 01, 2003, 12:04:00 PM

what do oranges and stripes have to do with this?

but how long does it take a fly to explode in the microwave?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 01, 2003, 01:30:00 PM

QUOTE

but how long does it take a fly to explode in the microwave?

Well that would depend on the species of fly, size and weight of fly, the wattage of the microwave, the microwave power setting, the volume of the cooking are, and the position of the fly.
Most likely your avrage house fly would expire in 3 to 5 seconds and rupture in about 30 to 65 seconds. But thats just a guess.

Bowling for tomatoes can not clean the toaster.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: gcskate27 on October 01, 2003, 08:37:00 PM

but bowling WITH tomatoes....

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 01, 2003, 11:09:00 PM

^^ EXACTLY!!

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 02, 2003, 04:35:00 PM

tomatoes  thats a good photoshop pic or however it got made but how long would it take an yellow south american bullfrog to be grind up into about 1 inch square pieces in a blender. oh and bruce lee was so fast in one of his movies they had to slow the movie so people could see his moves, what this has to do with comedy i do not know, nor bullfrogs in blender but the thought is humerous.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 02, 2003, 05:34:00 PM

A bit old, it takes arround a second according to joe cartoon. Frog Blender demo

A fake screwdrive can not expand the pasta.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: SKoT on October 03, 2003, 11:35:00 AM

Too true

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 03, 2003, 07:45:00 PM

You shot who in the what now?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 03, 2003, 07:49:00 PM

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 03, 2003, 10:30:00 PM

 

okay what about how many xboxs does it take to cook a hamburger in 30 mins?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 03, 2003, 11:32:00 PM

With the new Spatulas of Torment ™ Xbox Controler, it takes one. Unless Burger Time is on your emulator, then you need one XBox to pepper the ingrediants and the other to stomp on the food. <Eat safe, thourly clean the XBox before cooking>

Rember there is no spoon,  there all dirty in the sink.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 04, 2003, 12:09:00 PM

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 04, 2003, 12:23:00 PM

One drop more than before the body reaches a unstabel level. The issue comes that the body will not explode without a extra additive, you'll stop before hand. Now Ebolia laced water, a dab I'll do ya and your cells will explode. =^.^=

Your turn, if train A leaves Ohio traveling 50mh south and train B leaves Texas traveling 10mh, what is the flavor of plaid?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 04, 2003, 02:51:00 PM

or cherry vanilla coke depending on what your tastebuds are like.

Now then how many car batteries does it take to run the empire state building and what brand would do it?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 04, 2003, 04:41:00 PM

Depends on the timeframe, for it would require a infinate amount of battries since they need replacements. More then NYC's structural integrity would last, on a plus side a collapse would flood hence drenching many homeless. There by making the phrase "The unwashed masses" obsolete <except in the case of cab drivers>.

If the Gamecube was a sphere, would Mario be thiner?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: geniusalz on October 04, 2003, 07:38:00 PM

Gamecube's NOT a sphere, but Mario is still as thin as paper.

If M$ makes the xbox, and we think the xbox rules, what does it say about M$?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 04, 2003, 08:07:00 PM

I was wondering if someone would get that =^.^=

M$ is as deep as the ocean. Upont the surface they proclaim it's wonders, allowing it's crashing waves chew upon the shore. In the deeper currents it runs both warm & cold depending on where you are. But in the deepest depts of the ocean, where even the sun fears to tread, no one can say what is occuring <without better equiptment   >.
So like any matter it depends where and what part. =^.^=

If software was solid and hardware was liquid, where would the cd go?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 04, 2003, 09:25:00 PM

on top for oil

Title: Did You Know
Post by: mende006 on October 07, 2003, 04:50:00 AM

But if the oil were made out of unobtanium, would the CD sink to the Core?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 07, 2003, 12:58:00 PM

there are different kinds?

uhhhh, oh

how bout that.

Ill go hit myself in the head for you.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: geniusalz on October 07, 2003, 04:33:00 PM

QUOTE

If software was solid and hardware was liquid, where would the cd go?

I don't know where the CD would go, but I sure would go to antarctica (who wants to type on a sticky keyboard anyway; antarctica should freeze it up just fine)

Which brings us to vaporware... If software was solid and hardware was liquid, would the phantom still exist?

*Sorry, I don't believe its vaporware, so don't flame me, but couldn't resist  

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 08, 2003, 12:49:00 PM

vapor who phantom , uhh sure it would go down to that south ice cube on the world, so thats where it would exist. I think.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: SKoT on October 08, 2003, 02:22:00 PM

ONE TIME I FARTED AND POOP CAME OUT.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: lookformeb on October 08, 2003, 02:56:00 PM

QUOTE (SKoT @ Oct 8 2003, 05:22 PM)

ONE TIME I FARTED AND POOP CAME OUT.

 

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 09, 2003, 02:58:00 PM

QUOTE (lookformeb @ Oct 8 2003, 11:56 PM)

QUOTE (SKoT @ Oct 8 2003, 05:22 PM) ONE TIME I FARTED AND POOP CAME OUT.

He, He, He meeee toooo. haaar haaar har.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: XeroKitsune on October 09, 2003, 03:04:00 PM

QUOTE

Which brings us to vaporware... If software was solid and hardware was liquid, would the phantom still exist?

No more that it exists now =^.^= <Definately vaporware or Lindows clone >

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 11, 2003, 12:51:00 PM

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 13, 2003, 03:20:00 PM

Or is it?!!?!?!

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 18, 2003, 11:30:00 PM

ummmm i know
         
         
     

Ahhh my masterpeice.

original isnt it?

Title: Did You Know
Post by: geniusalz on October 18, 2003, 11:47:00 PM

                 

lol looks funny when they all blink together.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 19, 2003, 08:41:00 AM

     
           

Yesss!

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 21, 2003, 02:48:00 PM

Title: Did You Know
Post by: Clinty76 on October 23, 2003, 09:32:00 PM

Very Interesting!!

Title: Did You Know
Post by: SupeRdUPErBlakE on October 24, 2003, 08:25:00 PM

I think I am going to poke my eye...

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 28, 2003, 12:47:00 PM

). Um yes I am wierd now tell me, just when did you notice. Oh and the eye thing go right ahead just dont use a parrot to do it. Speaking of parrots does anyone have a pic of a flock of parrots chasing some guy? I want to see that,yes that would be fun.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 29, 2003, 04:16:00 PM

   

Title: Did You Know
Post by: SKoT on October 29, 2003, 07:07:00 PM

i thought that was Wal-Marts retail underwear....

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 30, 2003, 04:01:00 PM

Title: Did You Know
Post by: RoboChicken on October 30, 2003, 05:03:00 PM

A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea, and the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.

The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine."

The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on! What are you waiting for?"

Finally, the guy says "All right" and hands over the fifteen dollars.

The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain.

Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah! Kwah!" The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out.

The vet says, "Holy gee," and runs across the room and opens the curtain.

The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage with one claw. With the other claw he's pulling out all her feathers. He's saying, "For fifteen bucks, I want you naked, bitch. Naked!"

Title: Did You Know
Post by: RoboChicken on October 30, 2003, 05:05:00 PM

A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, being a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbors turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act. The next door neighbors knock on the door and explain what the Parrot has been doing. The owners of the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the parrots head.

That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbors turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.

The following morning is the Farmers daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot, they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.

The parrot is doing fine. "Grooms side to the left and Brides side to the right". Until two bald guys walk in and he says, "And you two Turkey f*ckers up on the piano with me!!!"

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on October 31, 2003, 03:08:00 PM

 

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on November 04, 2003, 06:59:00 PM

        and this one  and this one  and pehaps this one  

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on November 05, 2003, 06:18:00 PM

    mister robochicken, *snicke,snicker* I should name my xbox that. robochicken wait chickenfajita   LOL fajita lol

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on November 10, 2003, 02:57:00 PM

NOOOOOO this cant be the end of my reign at #1 it cant BBEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on November 12, 2003, 01:12:00 PM

Title: Did You Know
Post by: geniusalz on November 12, 2003, 07:25:00 PM

I feel sorry for the teddy bear.

Title: Did You Know
Post by: JFSX on November 13, 2003, 03:42:00 PM