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Author Topic: Xenium Press Releases  (Read 108 times)

arjkar

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Xenium Press Releases
« on: April 19, 2004, 01:46:00 PM »

i kno its awesome
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evoxreloaded

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« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2004, 02:15:00 PM »

I'll write it for them.
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EmperorPsiblade

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Xenium Press Releases
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2004, 02:41:00 PM »

Just imagine if I wrote it....

heh heh heh...
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evoxreloaded

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« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2004, 03:13:00 PM »

submit a res emp... get goofy wit it...
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Tommy Vercetti

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« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2004, 03:26:00 PM »

who cares as long as it gets you giddy when you read it. biggrin.gif
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EmperorPsiblade

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Xenium Press Releases
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2004, 03:34:00 PM »

NEW XENIUM SUPER DUPER ACTIVE RECLINING AUTONOMOUS BIOS BACON FRYING TECHNOLOGY!

This new technology will allow the Xenium to remotely control all chips produced by the competition. It will then make the modchip explode and kill the user. This will prevent the competition from usign our sacred Xenium OS. But remember, the new xenium will be released SOON!

Didn't catch that?

SOON....
SOON....
FUCKIN' SOON....

Did I mention it will be available soon?
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evoxreloaded

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« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2004, 03:37:00 PM »

well done... ill take 4 of 'em....  tongue.gif
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dethbunny

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Xenium Press Releases
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2004, 10:28:00 PM »

Really, the hyper-excited tone of the releases has to stop.  It's immature, and smacks of poor business.

Really, read over the releases.  YOu may as well replace them with this:


QUOTE (ozXodusNewsMonkey @ Apr 21 2004, 03:17 PM)
  • We have giant balls.  They're the size of bowling balls, or at least a respectable coconut.  Those competitors of ours claim to have balls, but they don't.  We'll show you our balls to prove it.  In a few days.

  • Along with out huge balls, we have giant dicks.  Beware of fake dicks, they fall off.  In fact, we can guarantee that all fake dicks will fall off.  And if it's not our dick, it's a fake dick.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

  • Anyone questioning the size of our genitalia should examine the size of our feet.  We told you we have big feet before, and look at how we came through - Size 16 EEEs!  We keep our promises.  Big dicks are just around the corner.

  • If you haven't caught the implication, none of our competitors have any genitalia whatsoever.  Even if they did (which they don't) it would pale in comparison to the size of ours.  Their balls quake in fear at the mere mention of our massive wang.


I mean HONESTLY now boys, give us a news item that's news.  Don't give us more bragging and baiting.  If I wanted that, I'd go argue about what operating system is better at slashdot.

I understand the need to market.  I understand the need to make your product appear better than the competition.  I understand the need to differentiate yourself.  I just think there's a line that got crossed a long time ago.  It almost makes me wish I'd gotten a SmartXX - at least their lack of English skills saves me from the marketing hogwash.

Just give me the details.  Tell me what you're going to do, tell me what I need to know, but tone down the sensationalism and swagger.
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sega27

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Xenium Press Releases
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2004, 11:18:00 PM »

Enough with the press releases... we need some content.
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tiger

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Xenium Press Releases
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2004, 11:54:00 PM »

i think the way they write there news is awesome

gr8 sence of humor .....  they always manage to put a smile on my face .
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EmperorPsiblade

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Xenium Press Releases
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2004, 01:29:00 AM »

QUOTE (lovemoose @ Apr 20 2004, 02:28 AM)
I commented about this in at the official ozxodus forum, and was told my a mod I needed to read the news "with a sense of humour"; and presumably, a complete disregard for the English language. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth, to be honest.
I could possibly ignore their style, if they provided content, but as it is most ozxodus 'news' releases could be written in one paragraph for all the actual news they contain.

in summary - ozxodus: get someone who can actually write to write your news!

well... you did sound like a jerk in your post....  wink.gif
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lovemoose

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« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2004, 07:59:00 AM »

QUOTE (EmperorPsiblade @ Apr 20 2004, 10:29 AM)
well... you did sound like a jerk in your post....  wink.gif

ah.... I hope no more of a jerk than they sound like in their news releases?  wink.gif
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Soup

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Xenium Press Releases
« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2004, 08:49:00 AM »

QUOTE (shmokes @ Apr 19 2004, 05:40 PM)
I think the Xenium is a standup chip, and the OzX guys seem to be supporting it pretty well.  But the guy (or girl) who writes all their press releases is terrible.  They really ought to find some college english major and give him a free Xenium in exchange for some periodic writing work.

It's always the same author.  You can tell by the sensationalistic style.  They read like the introduction to a comic book.

I agree completely, they are really jarring to read.
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evoxreloaded

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« Reply #13 on: April 20, 2004, 09:07:00 AM »

frankly i could care less about HOW theywrote it... its what they are writing.... as far as content  I WISH XOS 2 WOULD JUST FUKIN COME OUT ALREADY!!!! n e ways

we need our news...
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Master-Chief

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Xenium Press Releases
« Reply #14 on: April 20, 2004, 09:57:00 AM »

blink.gif
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