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[chief]

is this forum really just for pro sports???

It's a sad thing when hard-working immigrants are so easily duped by mindless hacks!

Dear Mr. Billy Packer,

I am hoping you can help me. After coming to America, I wanted to be rich. In my country, I watched basketball. In America, I learned you bet on basketball. I did this, following advice you gave on television. I told the betting man, “Billy Packer says Pac 10 will win all games. A10 will win no games. Please to put my dishwashing money on Stanford to win Final Four, and on Washington and Arizona to be in Elite Eight. ” The betting man did this.

Now he says I have lost all money. He says Pac 10 is stiffs. What does this mean, stiffs? How can I get money back to send to my family in home country?

I’m sure you will have good idea. Maybe I should bet on Mississippi State over Xavier, or Texas Tech over St. Joseph’s, if is not too late? I hear you like Bobby Knight.

Sometimes I listen to Mr. Digger Phelps advice, too. A guy at work, he says, “You moron. Digger plays with Billy’s Packer.” What does this mean, plays with your packer?

I wait for your kind advice. If I don’t send money for paying special ox-cart tax, my brother will have to be in army and father must sell cow. Only you, Mr. Billy Packer, know enough about American college basketball for saving them.

Latka