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Author Topic: Smartest Dog Ever  (Read 83 times)

LinksAwakening

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Smartest Dog Ever
« on: July 20, 2003, 03:20:00 PM »

QUOTE (vesebr @ Jul 20 2003, 09:32 PM)
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.

The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.

The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

The owner responds, "Genius, my ass. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"

Nice... laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif
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CASTOR_TROY

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Smartest Dog Ever
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2003, 04:41:00 PM »

mad.gif
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psibob84

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Smartest Dog Ever
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2003, 10:30:00 AM »

rotfl.gif  rotfl.gif  rotfl.gif  rotfl.gif  rotfl.gif
i love it
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chilin_dude

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Smartest Dog Ever
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2003, 08:09:00 AM »

mad.gif
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Fire

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Smartest Dog Ever
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2003, 02:50:00 PM »

QUOTE (vesebr @ Jul 23 2003, 06:46 AM)
Bathing the Cat


1.  Thoroughly clean toilet.
2.  Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3.  Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
4.  In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so cat cannot escape.
5.  The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds.  (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this)  
6.  Flush toilet 3 or 4 times.  This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7.  Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8.  Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.


Sincerely, The Dog

ROFLMAO!

laugh.gif laugh.gif



gotta love both jokes biggrin.gif
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survivorejam

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Smartest Dog Ever
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2003, 09:42:00 AM »

dry.gif

But I do agree that these jokes are great ! more please  biggrin.gif
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.:**:.

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« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2003, 01:50:00 PM »

wink.gif .
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Champ189WS

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« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2003, 03:06:00 PM »

im gonna have to try doing that to my cat.  LOL
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ivans_dc

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Smartest Dog Ever
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2003, 09:49:00 PM »

wink.gif
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SeaBass

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Smartest Dog Ever
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2003, 01:53:00 PM »

laugh.gif  laugh.gif

Hadn't heard those ones in ages.  Thanks for bringing them back beerchug.gif
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Boozy

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Smartest Dog Ever
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2003, 02:32:00 PM »

laugh.gif  laugh.gif
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