I have one:
"debriefing after failed Death Star 2 assault"
Commander: Well, we tried. Who said that we could fly low to the Death Star surface because the guns haven't been installed yet?
Green 5: That was me. My bad.
Commander: Ok, who said that the Falcon's quad-cannons don't work?
Mechanic: That was me. I thought I saw hydraulic fluid all over the cannon and if it was then the gun would explode so I said they were broken.
Commander: So they were broken?
Mechanic: No, it was just jelly from my doughnut. I found out later when it had no jelly.
Commander: And what about the shields?
Porkins's 3rd clone (there's one that dies in every major space battle): That was me. I put the microwave and the coffee pot in the same plug as the generator and it kind of overloaded.
Commander: Ok, Wedge what happened in the power core?
Wedge: I forgot to hit core after the regulator.
Commander: Why?
Wedge: Cuz that was Lando's job.
Commander: Where was Lando?
Wedge: He was at the clown-lookin' thing after the tunnel. I did get a radio message from him.
Commander: What was it?
Wedge: It was, "No, no listen in English! 2 Big Macs and a Diet Coke. Drive thru person: 4 Jumbo Jacks and 9 Dr. Peppers. Lando: No! No! Wrong! You idiot! I'll kill ya drive thru lady! Drive thru lady: You want drive thru lady? Lando: Yes! lady: Ok. She's not here. I am being the super laser operator. You are having the wrong channel. Lando: Oh, Ok. Wait What is-AHHHHHHHH!"
Wedge: Hope that helps.
Commander: Yeah Ok. Let's try again next Tuesday. Ok?
All: Ok
Green 5: You want me to call the Imps and let 'em know?
Commander: Yeah.
Green 5: OK
"On Phone"
You have reached the Death Star. For employment, press 1. For secret locations, press 2. For the chance to speak with a live Imperial representative, press 3.
*presses 3*
Now connecting. Please hold.
*Cantina music plays for 5 hours*
Hello, my name is Darth, how may I help you.
Green 5:Yah, I'd like to make an appointment for an attack.
Darth: Ok, when would that be?
Green 5:Next Tuesday.
Darth: Ok. How 'bout at 5:00 Galactic Standard Time.
Green 5:Ok
Darth: Thank you and have a good day.
Green 5: You too.
*hangs up phone*
Green 5: Uhh, sir?
Commander: Yes?
Green 5: When do we know when it's next Tuesday?
Commander: Uh...um...go the bridge and that's an order!
Green 5: Yes sir
*under breath* Green 5: You jackass.
