A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells
everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world.
He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc.
So he says that he will wager £50 to anyone who has an instrument
that the octopus can't play.
A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing
better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his £50.
Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie.
So the man pays his £50.
Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the
octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused
look. "Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"
The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to fuck it
as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off."