I'm sorry you got dealt a tough hand to play.
However, let's look at what you're upset about.
1)Walmart for not having 3 premiums.
2)DHL (or other shipping company) for screwing up
3)The service rep for making a joke (in poor taste of course, but I would have laughed)
The only legitimant(sp?) complaint that you have is the system not working. MS has shipped you a new console, which unfortunately also does not work. I know this is no consolation to you whatsoever, but MS is trying to make things right by you. I don't agree that you should get a premium upgrade for free, but I bet they will give it to you if you scream loud enough.
I am only simpathetic to MS because I work in the mortgage field. Loans constantly do not close because of delays in us gathering items such as appraisal's and title work. Clients will become very upset about this, but it is not my fault, and they don't care.
I do feel for you bud, but nobody is out to get you, at least you don't have to worry about someone shooting you for your 360.
At least you were able to buy one on launch day. Many people are still waiting to buy 360, you have it, it just needs to be fixed by MS.