Topic: 4 Free Eeproms (Read 286 times)

Slikmastah · « **Reply #15 on:** February 11, 2004, 04:13:00 PM »

I got another joke - not trying to be racist
Why are black people tall, because their knee grows.
If you don't get this joke, im me or pm me, hahahaha

SICKdimension · « **Reply #16 on:** February 11, 2004, 04:53:00 PM »

Gus Man · « **Reply #17 on:** February 11, 2004, 07:51:00 PM »

A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar, and thats just the first guy!

therebelious1 · « **Reply #18 on:** February 12, 2004, 05:06:00 AM »

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, The French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.

The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day to now, all French Army officers wear brown pants.

and

What's the difference between an Iraqi soldier and a British soldier?

Don't know?

Then welcome to the US Army

desertboy · « **Reply #19 on:** February 12, 2004, 08:11:00 AM »

Zodiiak · « **Reply #20 on:** February 13, 2004, 09:57:00 AM »

itzkid · « **Reply #21 on:** February 13, 2004, 06:53:00 PM »

okay i'm not racist or prejudice, don't take em personally.

What's the point of jewish football?
To get their quarter back

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

Why don't jews ever go down on a woman?
Too close to the gas chamber

Why are mexicans so short?
When they're kids, their parents tell em "When you grow up you'll have to get a job"

How do you starve a mexican?
Hide their foodstamps under their work boots

What do you say to a mexican with a job?
Can I have fries with that

What do you find at a black dude's rummage sale?
Your bike

What do you call 2 black dude's on a bike?
Organized crime

Why don't you ever hit a black dude on a bike?
It might be your bike

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass

What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing

There's a jamaican a mexican a black guy and a white guy all on a boat to america. The black dude pulls out a forty takes 2 sips and tosses it overboard. The white guy yells "What the hell you doin! that's perfectly good alcohol!". The black dude replies "There's so much of it in america we don't need anymore". The white guy says "oh okay". The jamaican sparks up a joint, takes two hits and tosses it over board. tosses it over board. The white guy yells "What the hell you doin! that's perfectly good alcohol!". The jamaican dude replies "There's so much of it in america we don't need anymore". The white guy says "oh okay". About five minutes later the white guy gets up walks over to the mexican, picks him up and tosses him overboard.

A guy gets sent to hell, when he gets there the devil says he can pick how he wants to spend his eternity. The devil shows him one room where there's a man being stabbed over and over, the man is horrified. The devil takes him to the next room, where people are being burned for the rest of eternity, after hearing their screams the guy turns completely white and shakes his head. The devil takes him to the next room where there's a man getting a blowjob from a beautiful woman. The guy instantly says he wants that, so the devil walks up taps the girl on the shoulder and tells her she can go, they found a replacement.

There's a polish family of 4, a mom, a dad, a son and a daughter. One day the dad says I'm tired of being polish lets swim across the river to germany and then we'll be german. So the dad goes first and makes it with no problem. The mom went and and struggled a little at the end up made it fairly easyily. The son went next and just barely makes it, almost downed several times. The daughter goes last, gets about half-way through and drowns. The mom screams "nooooo my daughter". The dad shrugs his shoulders and says "who cares she was only polish anyways".

spicymeatball911 · « **Reply #22 on:** February 14, 2004, 11:01:00 PM »

Hmmm, this joke needs to be modified to be not so racist.
Ahh screw it. Here it is in its raw form:

A black person, a mexican, and a chinese person jump of the roof of a building.
Who wins?
Society.

I'm half black, half latino and my wife is chinese so don't think I'm racist. It's just a funny joke, although racist.

Here's a nice NON-RACIST joke to clear the air:

How do you keep a baby from drowning at the bottom of the pool?
Take your foot off of it.

ZING!!!!

tkh · « **Reply #23 on:** February 15, 2004, 04:25:00 AM »

Heres 2 Great Jokes:

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enought that he just gave away a huge portfolio. The next guy said, I'm so proud of my son. He's a car dealer and he's doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari. The third guy says, I'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home.
Just as the third guy fininshes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, What are you guys talking about?'
Just about how good our sons are doing, the three men replied. Well, my son is doing very well, says the fourth man, He's a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a million-dollar home.

AND HERS ANOTHER:

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

Thanks, hope you like them!

desertboy · « **Reply #24 on:** February 15, 2004, 02:29:00 PM »

A mere 12 hours left, well actually it'll be tomorrow evening before I get home from work and send the eeproms so I'll pick the 4 winners then. Hurry up there's not much time left.

Fuzzy · « **Reply #25 on:** February 15, 2004, 02:48:00 PM »

Yo momma's so fat, she fell in love and broke it!

xboxpeerx · « **Reply #26 on:** February 15, 2004, 03:49:00 PM »

SICKdimension · « **Reply #27 on:** February 15, 2004, 11:33:00 PM »

this joke works best if you tell it to somebody else...

how do you fit a 400 pound woman in a size 2 dress?

take the E out of EAR and the F out of WEIGH.

there's no f in weigh! (say it out loud if you don't get it right away)

tkh · « **Reply #28 on:** February 16, 2004, 12:00:00 AM »

Heres another good three:

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked "Who created the Earth and man?" The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, "GOD!" The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right."
Then he asked "Who is God's son?" Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!" Again, the priest said, "Correct."

Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?" The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed "Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!" The priest smiled and said, "That's right."

And Another:

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 854-7039?"

LAST ONE:

Death Row in Women's Prison

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

Thanks again

spicymeatball911 · « **Reply #29 on:** February 16, 2004, 09:01:00 AM »

Whats funner than nailing a baby to the wall?
Ripping it off.

Whats the difference between a cadilac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a cadilac in my garage.

Author Topic: 4 Free Eeproms (Read 286 times)