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[desertboy]

I've got 4 unbanned eeproms for grabs, for free all I want is a laugh.

Post your jokes in this thread best 4 wins (1 eeprom per person) the winners will be picked 7 days from today.

All eeproms are supplied as is, it's at your own risk.

I have quite a few eeproms (Only giving 4 away) so post your xbox version here and I'll try and supply your with an eeprom from the same version xbox.

All eeproms are from Pal (UK) xbox's.

Eeproms are 240k zipped so make sure you can handle that in your email if you do win.


Good luck, may the best joke's win
For those wanting a laugh check out www.cockeyed.com, the how much is inside is pretty funny.

[therebelious1]

tis an old one, but still funny:

whats got two legs and bleeds?
half a dog!

edit:

i cant relly take any credit for this, but its still funny:

QUOTE

A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions). The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions carefully." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy teddy. 4. Crawl into bed and position the frog in place. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the girl calls the pet store. The man says, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there." The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

[valius]

Hi desertboy

I posted some jokes in the last thread you had do they still count?

[desertboy]

QUOTE (valius @ Feb 9 2004, 07:41 PM)

Hi desertboy I posted some jokes in the last thread you had do they still count?

I've made quite a few threads in the last year along these lines. I first tried selling eeproms (I do a side line in reflashing friends and friends of friends xbox's, all my friends now own chipped xbox's after they saw mine. I rip the eeproms because the TSOP is reflashed and the people using them aren't going to use live. I used to reprogram the eeproms but all new xboxs are just getting flashed with the new X2 bios instead.) Not worth the effort so I though I might as well give them away. What the hell else am I going to do with it.

Repost your old jokes in this thread.

[mrRobinson]

Why is being a man better than being a woman?

No one will stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
and
Wedding plans take care of themselves....

[Blank]

A Wedding Joke:
When I was younger I hated going to weddings ...it seemed that all
of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking
me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

-----

Republicans:
A first grade teacher is explaining to her class that she is a Republican and how nice it is that a new Republican president has taken office. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Republicans and support George Bush. Everyone in class raises their hands except one little girl. "Mary," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't you raise your hand?" Because I'm not a Republican," says Mary. "Well, what are you?" asks the teacher. "I'm a Democrat and proud of it," replies the little girl. The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Mary, why are you a Democrat?" she asks. “Well, my momma and papa are Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too." "Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What if your momma was a criminal and your papa was a criminal, too, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "then we'd be Republicans."

-----

Q:Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the hell out of the dogs!

-----

A guy walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of Jack Daniels and slams them all down in a flash. He looks at the bartender and orders 3 more and does the same thing. By now the bartender is wondering what is wrong with this guy so he asks him what his problem is. The guy looks up and says " I don't have a problem, I'm celebrating my first blow job!"

The bartender looks with a smile and says," well that's just dandy, let me get the next one!"

"No thanks", says the guy, "if 6 shots won't wash the taste out, the 7th won't help either!!!"



To all those who read: Do not take offense to these. Thanks and enjoy!

[GhostHavoc]

QUOTE (desertboy @ Feb 9 2004, 11:56 AM)

I've got 4 unbanned eeproms for grabs, for free all I want is a laugh. Post your jokes in this thread best 4 wins (1 eeprom per person) the winners will be picked 7 days from today. All eeproms are supplied as is, it's at your own risk. I have quite a few eeproms (Only giving 4 away) so post your xbox version here and I'll try and supply your with an eeprom from the same version xbox. All eeproms are from Pal (UK) xbox's. Eeproms are 240k zipped so make sure you can handle that in your email if you do win. Good luck, may the best joke's win For those wanting a laugh check out www.cockeyed.com, the how much is inside is pretty funny.

Calling all men


Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, men will screw anything.


Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.


Q: What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.


Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Bonds mature.


Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.


Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.


Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted.


Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They can irritate the shit out of you.


Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: They want to be on a first name basis with the one who makes all the decisions.

Q: What do men think Rowe vs. Wade is?
A: Two ways to cross the river.


Q: How stupid are men about money?
A: Only a man would buy a $500 car and put in a $4000 stereo.


Q: Why do men have holes in their penises?
A: To get oxygen to their brains.


Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.


Q: What's the best way to kill a man?
A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him and tell him he can only pick one.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A drunk man who smelled like rum sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half bottle of Bacardi was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.


After a few minutes, the man turned to the priest and asked, Say, Father, d'ya know what causes arthritis?

Yes, my son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, drinking too much alcohol, having contempt
for your fellow men, sleeping around with prostitutes, lack of bath, and things like that....

Well, I'll be darn, the drunk muttered returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized saying:
I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strongly. How long have you had arthritis?

I don't have it, Father. I was just readin' here that the Pope does.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into
the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

The husband says, " Oh my God! That's great! What should I pack?
Beach  stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the hell out."

[smouty]

Why are washing machines not like women?

A washing machine doesn't try to call you after you've dumped your load in it.


You have to feel sorry for the dyslexic guy who went to a toga part dressed as a goat and sold his soul to santa.

[Spency234]

QUOTE (GhostHavoc @ Feb 9 2004, 07:03 PM)

A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!" The husband says, " Oh my God! That's great! What should I pack? Beach  stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the hell out."

 

Best joke in this thread sofar.

[Morglum]

Well if they're all UK EEPROMs yu have to be from the UK yourself, in which case you must hate the french as much as the rest of us over here, so on that note...


How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?
No one knows, it's never been tried.

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The army.

What do you call 10 French politicians face down in the Channel?
A start.

How can you idenitfy a French infantryman?
Sunburned armpits.

Where can you find nearly 90,000,000 French jokes?
In France.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer were sitting together in a French train. Suddenly the train entered a tunnel. Being an old, crappy French model, there were no lights, and the whole train was plunged into darkness. In the dark, there was a kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap. When the train left the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happen, while the Frenchman was holding his face.
He was thinking that English feller must have kissed Claudia Schiffer, but her slap missed him and hit me instead.
Claudia Schiffer was thinking that French bloke must've tried to kiss me, but actually kissed the English bloke and got slapped for his troubles.
And the Englishman was thinking this is great. The next time this train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.

What's the difference between a French woman and a basketball team?
The basketball team showers after four periods.

Women are another one of life's pleasures. Unfortunately, French women put Chewbacca to shame. If hairy armpits were weapons, maybe the French wouldn't have lost every single war ever.


There now atleast one of them has to make you laugh  

[Zodiiak]

Is this allowed in this forum?  I would think this should be in the BST forum or something  

[Morglum]

QUOTE (Zodiiak @ Feb 11 2004, 05:47 PM)

Is this allowed in this forum?  I would think this should be in the BST forum or something

Why, he's not buying/selling/trading. He's giving them away for free if you make him laugh, hmm i guess thats a trade, 1 laugh gets you an eeprom  

[Zodiiak]

QUOTE (Morglum @ Feb 11 2004, 12:49 PM)

QUOTE (Zodiiak @ Feb 11 2004, 05:47 PM) Is this allowed in this forum?  I would think this should be in the BST forum or something  Why, he's not buying/selling/trading. He's giving them away for free if you make him laugh, hmm i guess thats a trade, 1 laugh gets you an eeprom

Well, I don't think GIVE-A-WAYS are allowed on XS.  I believe this is posted in the BST forum.  This is in fact some kind of trade, it has nothing to do with technical issues.  Well, if it is in fact garabge or should be moved, shanafan will take care of it  

[Morglum]

I thought it was just competition give aways that were banned? Hmm but then again i guess on a technicality this could count as just that  

Though i think the mods wont mind this, i believe they were more refering to modchip give-aways and the likes, though i guess i could be wrong. Time will only tell  

[Slikmastah]

Ok, so America, Germany, and France meets a genie who gives them one wish. Germany wishes for excellent soil and smarter german babies. "Done" says the Genie. France wishes for a giant wall all around France so no one can get in or out. "Done" says the Genie. America wishes for water to fill France up. "Done"