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[KronoKs]

Ok this just happened recently:I went with my friend to Riker's Island(Jail) to visit his brother over there. So we had to go through metal detectors etc. all that security stuff. So the guard tells us take off your shoes and socks and my friend says "Are you sure you want me to take off my socks?", She says yeah and he says it again and adds Don't say I didn't warn you my feet smell like the worst case of stankonia". He took off his socks and boy was he right, I was literally dying of laughter and the guard was like please please put your socks back on. It may not be a joke joke but it sure as hell is funny if read right.

[Jumpy_Beans]

[eisfeld2k1]

These are antijokes !!

What can you throw away and it won't come back to you ??
A piece of wood !

What is blue and stands behind a tree ??
A yellow bycile !

No racist jokes allowed at Xbox-Scene.

How do you recognize a rich cambochian ??
He wears his Rollex around his stomache !

FOr shizzle my dizzle !
THX

[shanafan]

Tone down the racist jokes please. I like humor, but some of your jokes are not proper for this board.

[desertboy]

QUOTE (shanafan @ Sep 21 2003, 04:30 AM)

Tone down the racist jokes please. I like humor, but some of your jokes are not proper for this board.

I too am not against racy jokes but with a balance. Too many anti anything jokes gives the impression we're all a bunch of rednecks.


Feel free to PM Racy jokes and I'll make a decision whether to post them or not but I will consider them for the contest (even if I don't post them).

I 100% agree with shanafan on this one keep xbox scene impartial.

You can't offend me though I'm beyond that now.


On a side note if anyone has spare eeproms feel free to mail them to me and I'll give them away (with a mention of the donatee of course, and obviously I can't swear to the validity of said proms.)

And on a final note to reitterate once more these eeproms have No guarantee (Though I think they should all be fine but you have to understand they're risks)

[The Messenjah]

Guess I'll do some others:

1. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

2. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

3. http://www.livejourn...eyes/73195.html <--- Funniest blond joke ever!

4.Once there was a man who moved to a new location with his buisiness. All his friends and family wished him good luck and give him lots of "Congratualation on your new location" flowers with cards on it. Back at home he was flipping through the cards when he saw a "Rest in peace" card. He called the flower man and asked if a mistake was made. 'Yes' said the man, 'but imagine, right now there is a card that says, "Congratualations on you new location" at someones funeral.'

[desertboy]

I found this while lurking in my old posts

http://forums.xbox-s...=36389&st=0&hl=

the original thread O gave away eeproms, this was way back in feb


SOme good jokes

keep em coming as soon as I have an xbox in my hands I'll extract the winners eeprom

[[AD]]

This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the
executioner. "Can I have that green banana?" the man asks. The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it. "Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of
volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling. "What's your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark. "I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How you can still be alive after all that?"

He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it?" he asked.

"Nah" said the bloke,"...I'm just a really bad conductor."


-=AD=-

[ryan44934]

this isnt exactly a joke but is really funny. if you dont laugh, you arent a man. And i give complete credit to whom it belongs :MADDOX.

I figure i can rip it because noone actually made up any of the jokes they are posting either ( i assume anyway). So here goes:

I was sitting around the other day admiring how big my nuts are, when I came to the conclusion that they are somewhere between fairly giant and super giant. It's like I have a pair of Epcot centers dangling between my legs. Of course, you have to have a pretty big pair to say some of the things I've said, and then go on national TV. That's part of the reason my balls are so astronomical. The last nine or ten false readings in gravity wave detectors have been due to the gravity field of my nads. They're just under critical mass, a few inches away from collapsing into a super dense vortex of nutsaqutron (a type of radiation given off by enormous balls).

I've made a chart to help you get a feel for the size of my jewels:



I don't even have an office chair anymore, I just sit around on my nuts. People come over to my house and they think I'm just sitting on a giant flesh colored bean bag. I once took a bullet right in the cojones just to prove how tough I am, but the bullet ricocheted off of a pube and shot some kid in the face. I almost felt sorry for the kid, but he had it coming. Nobody can step to my nuts. My ex-girlfriend was bitching at me one day, so I tossed my nuts at her. BAM. Knocked the bitch out cold. The best teabagging she ever received, and I wasn't even trying.

[desertboy]

Got another eeprom as soon as I get home from work I send it someone. Feel free to post jokes here before that the winner will be the best joke of the whole thread.

More eeproms to come.

This one is a 1.0 Pal xbox manunfacture date 2002 02 07