If you are willing to do it, I would definately flash your TSOP with my 5101 BIOS. You will need it to be 1024k, unless you are using raincoat. (raincoat automatically resizes the BIOS file before flashing)
But as far as the cable goes, MAKE SURE you wired it 100% correctly, or you will risk your XBOX, your monitor, or both... (and hopefully you didn't damage your LM1881N chip already...)
And as far as the 'short pin/long pin' issue, all XBOX A/V cables are different. The main thing you want to pay attention to is that in the above picture, the side with the 'grey edges' on the sides is the top. (the 'grey edges' are supposed to resemble the 'notches' on the edge of the top side of the connector)
If you turn on the XBOX with the regular composite cable (red, white, yellow cable) the image will be the same. My VGA softmod only changes the video if it detects an HDTV cable, so only HDTV is affected.
So basically:
Eject = HDTV signals modified to output VGA
Power = HDTV signals normal, unchanged
Composite (red, white, yellow cable) is totally unaffected either way.
NOTE: You will not see anything while the 'flubber' is on the screen when you are using VGA. Just wait, and the dashboard will show up in VGA colors after the 'flubber' finishes. (after the 'Microsoft' logo)